Small Victories First

You must win small victories first.

• If you're terrified of public speaking, try giving a toast at the family dinner table.
• If you're afraid of approaching strangers, go to the mall and strike up conversations with people who won't reject you: clerks, salespeople and cashiers.
• If you're reluctant to make sales calls, ring a few companies and ask several product-related questions to warm yourself up.
• If you're fearful of writing and publishing articles, start a blog and post short entries to test the waters and get feedback from readers.
• If you're scared of approaching a cute girl in a bar, try chatting with the cute bartender first.
• If you're nervous about giving a speech in front of 300 people, go to a club and sing karaoke in front of 50 people.

And no matter what level you're at right now, it is through small victories that your confidence experiences a boost.

• Shy people are confined to the reality of the past instead of the potential of the future (Goodbye to Shy, 143).
• Shy people don't think others are worth talking to anyway (Don't Be Shy, 31).
• Shy people believe it's their "fate," and were born to be ignored (Help for Shy People, 98).
• Shy people have one thing in common: they've all been told they were shy by other people (Help for Shy People, 20).

Because you are what you believe.

• Recognize. No matter how small, take the time to say to yourself, "That was a victory! I just won. I overcame something that was previously difficult. Awesome."
• Rejoice. Find a way to celebrate. Get a little bell for your desk. (I ring my bell every time I book a speech or sell a book.) Jump up and down. Say a prayer. Give thanks. Give a high-five to someone in your office.
• Record. Keep a Victory Log. Write down the time, date, type of victory, what self-limiting belief(s) you overcame to achieve it and WHY you overcame it.
• Review. At the end of each week, go back through your journal and take note of your victories. Give thanks for all of them.
• Replicate. Think about the week ahead: how will you expand those victories into larger successes?

That's the key to self-confidence: small victories first.

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