The Power of Belief - Your Key to Freedom & Peace - Part Two

In The Power of Belief - Part One we learned about the five different kinds of beliefs (Basic, Personal, Authority, Derived and Inconsequential) and which ones can be changed (Personal, Authority, Derived). We were also introduced to Terri, who has just been let down by a man, one more time. And we saw the beliefs Terri has that were triggered by this most recent betrayal.

Now, let's get down to it and see how to change those undesirable beliefs!

In Terri's situation, in which she felt betrayed and was lied to by her fiancé, we asked this question: "What kind of beliefs would Terri have to have to create the experience of betrayal and being lied to?" We mentioned two possibilities; I can't find a man who will love me the way I want and men are untrustworthy liars. It's also possible that Terri has a belief that she is not lovable and/or does not deserve a lasting, loving relationship. Or that love doesn't last. Or the men she loves don't love her.

Terri can begin to change these beliefs in two ways. One is with the use of affirmations and the other is with "choice statements".

Affirmations are positive thoughts that you intentionally insert into your consciousness (especially your subconscious mind) to produce a desired state or experience in your personal reality.

Affirmations can be very effective and powerful when applied properly. So, what is the proper application of affirmations?

The way the old beliefs became implanted in your consciousness was through repetition, i.e., hearing your family and cultural beliefs repeated over and over again, sinking into your subconscious mind until they became a part of you. That's why these beliefs take on the appearance of "that's just the way it is", without questioning. Until, like Terri, you begin to wake up to the subconscious programming that is determining your experience in life and relationships and decide to do something about it. There is an art to inventing affirmations. Basically, you want to craft a statement that is roughly the opposite of the undesirable experience and reflects the desired experience.

Let's take Terri's beliefs, "I can't find a man who will love me the way I want" and "Men are untrustworthy liars" as an example. If Terri wants to have an experience of being loved the way she wants by a man who is honest and trustworthy, it might sound something like this. "I, Terri, am now attracting into my life an honest, trustworthy man who loves and appreciates me just the way I am." Now, this will seem like a lie to the part of her mind that is convinced that not only are there no men in existence like that, but if there were, she couldn't find them! The project of working with affirmations is to convince your subconscious mind of the truth of your affirmation until it is accepted.

The way you know your affirmations are effective is that you begin to see evidence in your experience.

There are two powerful ways of applying affirmations to transform your beliefs at the deepest level. One is with writing and the other is verbally with a partner. Here's how they work.

When writing affirmations, you want to be sure to work in all three persons, like this:

• "I, Terri, am now attracting into my life an honest, trustworthy man who loves and appreciates me just the way I am."
• "You, Terri, are now attracting into your life an honest, trustworthy man who loves and appreciates you just the way you are."
• "Terri is now attracting into her life an honest, trustworthy man who loves and appreciates her just the way she is."

Number one is the first person, number two is the second person and number three is the third person. Second person affirmations are very powerful because that is how we received much of our programming when we were young. The third person is as if you are overhearing others talk about you.

It is recommended that you write your affirmations three to five times in each person at least once a day.

Working verbally with a partner is very powerful and is a great way to encourage and support one another in your goals and dreams. It works like this. Select an affirmation and say it with feeling to your partner. Your partner will enthusiastically agree with you, then repeat.

After a few rounds in which your partner agrees with you, your partner will then repeat your affirmation back to you, and you agree with them, then repeat your affirmation to them. This process is described in our book, Straight From the Heart, and includes lots of examples of affirmations for relationships.

Now, sometimes the difference between your current reality and the state of being you are affirming is just too great and seems impossible to achieve. When this is the case, you may feel inner resistance to the affirmation, which is counterproductive. That's when you want to use the "Choices Method". (The Choices Method was developed by our friend and colleague, Dr. Patricia Carrington, as an advanced form of Emotional Freedom Techniques.)

Here's the difference between traditional affirmations and Choice Statements. Notice how it feels to say each one aloud.

• "I am wise and discerning." • "I choose to be wise and discerning." • "I am attractive. • "I choose to acknowledge my attractive qualities." • "I feel peaceful." • "I choose to feel peaceful." • "I am wealthy and prosperous." • "I choose to take steps to become wealthy and prosperous. I am

determined."

For Terri's affirmation, the Choices Method might sound like this, "I, Terri, now choose to attract into my life an honest, trustworthy man who loves and appreciates me just the way I am." You can work with Choice Statements exactly the same way you work with traditional affirmations. You may find working with Choice Statements to be more convincing and more readily accepted by both your conscious and subconscious mind.

Affirmations and Choice Statements are like a grappling hook thrown into the future you desire. You use them to pull what you want to you and you to it.

Working with your beliefs to transform your experience is working at the causal level. Trying to improve your life and relationships any other way is like trying to reach into the mirror to adjust your clothing.

Paul and Layne Cutright have been in a romantic and professional partnership since 1976. It’s not hard to do the math and figure that’s 30 years! In that time they have taught tens of thousands of people in their seminars, workshops, trainings and private practice. They have trained many therapists, coaches, teachers and trainers in the unique methodologies they have developed for helping people create successful, fulfilling personal and professional relationships.

Paul and Layne have taught intimate groups in living rooms and conference rooms filled with thousands of participants, and everything in between. They work with both individuals and businesses and have worked with senior and mid-level executives from New York to Tokyo. They have also presented at the International Conference on Conflict Resolution in St. Petersburg, Russia to attendees from over 20 countries.

From 1977 to 1984 Layne and Paul conducted an experiment in radical personal transformation by creating the Intensive Personal Evolution Program, a six-month immersion experience which met over 20 hours per week! The program, developed in Hawaii where they lived, was a magnet that attracted people from all over the world to participate. Their “experiment” was wildly successful and provided the seminal foundation from which their current work has evolved.

Above all, Layne and Paul are committed to providing practical, proven tools based on solid principles that anyone can learn to create, heal, improve and transform their relationships. They are unique in their field, having created the first “systems” approach to relationships coaching, consulting and education.

Paul and Layne also are prolific writers and have written “Straight From the Heart”, a book on high performance communication, “You’re Never Upset for the Reason You Think”, their best seller about “radical personal responsibility” and conflict resolution. They have authored multiple courses and training programs including Secrets and Strategies for Successful Relationships and their latest creation, Paul and Layne’s Ultimate Relationship Success System.

In 1998 they took their business to the Internet creating a "virtual" knowledge and coaching enterprise that reaches people worldwide.

************************************ Paul & Layne Cutright Coaches, Consultants, Trainers, EFT Master Practitioners PaulandLayne.com Secrets and Strategies for Successful Relationships at Home and in Business http://www.PaulandLayne.com partners@paulandlayne.com Vox - 505-474-6018 Fax - 505-212-0083